ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize