I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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