these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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