My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
