The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
