Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Enjoy the penises
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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