Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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