Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
