well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
