Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
