Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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