Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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