nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
