Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
