she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
