what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
