Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
