Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
