for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm at about main and main street
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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