Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
