At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
