Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
