what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
