Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize