y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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