turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
