goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
