I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
