My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
