at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
