I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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