her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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