Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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