I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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