Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize