Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
