ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
