i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
