i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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