He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
