you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
