it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
