Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
