I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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