I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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