Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
