It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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