Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
