garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
