Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
