Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
