is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't deserve a penis
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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