Soap is not a condiment
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
