the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
