I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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