I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
