I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
