sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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