youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
