Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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