im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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