Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
